Poem 873 – Plastic Surgery

‘Sit still’ she said and went behind
me to investigate. A sharp
intake of breath. ‘This is not good,’
she uttered, ‘but do not be alarmed.’

A look of utter concentration.
She raised some pliers to my neck
and clenched her tongue between her teeth,
and started to repair defects.

The room went silent and all zoomed in
upon that point of crisis where
she worked. A range of focused grunts
accompanied her efforts. Care-

fully she reached for varied tools,
a saw, a wrench, hammer and drill
sometimes even two at once
and worked with dreadful haste until

exclaiming, ‘It is fixed!’ Stepping
back to view her handiwork
she placed her plastic tools aside
and called her Mum to come and look.

Mum just smiled and winked at me,
‘Her dad fancies himself as a bit
of a handyman,’ she laughed until…
she swung a wrench and hit her knee!

Toddler group today and the toy tools were out. Towards the end I became the source of quite an operation.
(06.05.26)

© Ben Quant 2026
Photo by benjamin lehman on Unsplash

Poem 627 – Tidal Painting

The tide comes in, its waves
sweeping across the wall,
a swell of colour crashing
to its very boundaries.
Rock pools form, deep puddles
caught in crevices.
Carefree spray transgresses,
marking past its limits.
But as the wash recedes,
the turbulence dies down,
a pristine beach is left
of smooth and even colour.

We’re decorating at the moment, painting walls one at a time around the house. So often it looks a terrible mess until the very last coat is on and dry.
(02.09.25)

© Ben Quant 2025
Photo by Ryan Farid on Unsplash

Poem 620 – Flat Pack Politics

A week or two has passed
and all is as we left it.
The TV hasn’t fallen,
or damp stains reappeared,
or furniture collapsed.
My DIY has lasted
longer than Liz Truss.
I can announce I have
a strong and stable cabinet!

Much to my relief, returning after Greenbelt, the DIY is as I left it.
(26.08.25)

© Ben Quant 2025

Poem 609 – Wondering about the wisdom of an act of DIY

I’ve got some glass
And a tub of putty
But will replacing the pane
Drive me nutty?

Clear out the old
What can go wrong?
Pop in the new
Stick it nice and strong.

It’s been a while
Since I did it last
Any skills I had
Are lost to the past…

Scope for disaster?
Without a doubt.
Please join me praying
It won’t fall out!

A quick silly poem before tomorrow’s DIY task at church.
(15.08.25)

© Ben Quant 2025
Photo by Call Me Fred on Unsplash

Poem 395 – Installing Washing Machines

It always sounds straightforward
in the manual. Simply
remove the packaging,
undo the bolts and then
attach the pipe and hose.
Turn on the water. Pray
(it doesn’t say this but
I find I always do).

It always sounds straightforward
but bolts stick then they snap.
Attaching pipes requires
amazing acrobatic
acts behind the units.
Despite how tight you tighten,
the water always leaks.
I swear then pray some more.

This evening I installed a new washing machine. I think it’s sorted, but I won’t know until we use it. Of course to check all’s good, I’ll have to get behind it yet again to look for puddles…
(14.01.25)

© Ben Quant 2025
Photo by Leif Christoph Gottwald on Unsplash

Poem 73 – Maintenance Illumination

The manual makes it sound so easy,
‘Loosen the clip, unscrew, replace.’
Experience shows it rarely goes,
As smoothly as this might suggest.
Where does the boot release switch hide?
Should the clasp casing hang like this?
How can I get my hand round there?
Which way is it supposed to twist?
In light of this, there’s no surprise,
That when our headlight faded fast,
I did not fix it on my own,
But asked the garage, I’ve learned at last!

I think this one speaks for itself! Car maintenance is never as straightforward as the manuals make it out to be…
(16.01.22)

© Ben Quant 2022