Poem 237 – i am

my neurons’ pulsing electro beat
the rhythm of hormonal flow
my parents genes and nurture’s feat
the past drags me along in tow

i’m born my culture’s bastard child
a pinch of this, a dash of that
in tension with each other held
the product of a life compact

my jobs, my pets and what i ate
the microbes that within me grow
my prejudices obstinate
the lingering trace of where i go

i find within a tug of war
between these different identities
to separate them is to tear
it’s never i, it’s always we
it takes the world to raise a child
and this child is never truly free
from each and every one compiled
but no regrets, they made me me

For all sorts of reasons, I’ve found myself thinking a lot about identity, the sense of being distinct but influenced by so many factors. Sheldrake’s ‘Entangled Life’ raises the question of whether or not we are more network than individual. Provocative.
(21.03.24)

© Ben Quant 2024
Photo by Alina Grubnyak on Unsplash

Poem 233 – Island Life

We sit in studied
isolation,
our eyes averted.
The burnt, warm air
smashes against us.
An oscillating thrum
assaults our
auditory cliffs.
No man an island?
Upon the Tube
we’re an archipelago!

On Monday I talked about John Donne’s famous ‘no man is an island’ quote in a school assembly on Genesis 1 and the interconnectedness of life. This resonated with the Abdul Salam talk I attended at Imperial that evening and his love of the underlying symmetry in physics. Travelling on the Tube, however, seemed to clash with this concept…
(31.01.24)

© Ben Quant 2024
Original photo Photo by Austin Neill on Unsplash

Poem 219 – Sleep

The light switch flicked and only we prevail
And as we sleep as one, one breath we breathe
I don’t recall when I forgot to marvel
Before, we talked and read, then after, we leave

And as we sleep as one, one breath we breathe
Miraculous contained within mundane
Before, we talked and read, then after, we leave
The ordinary matters and, shared, sustains

Miraculous contained within mundane
Two pillows bound together by one sheet
The ordinary matters and, shared, sustains
Your daily life around my form completes

Two pillows bound together by one sheet
I don’t recall when I forgot to marvel
Your daily life around my form completes
The light switch flicked and only we prevail

This poem takes the form of a pantoum, a Malaysian form with eight lines repeated in a strict order, and is inspired by Pádraig Ó Tuama’s post on the ordinary. After almost 30 years of marriage, the simple act of sharing everyday life and daily routines, such as sleep, is simultaneously both ordinary and surprising.
(30.11.23)

© Ben Quant 2023
Photo by Krista Mangulsone on Unsplash

Poem 218 – I’m A Winging It Man

                                                                I’m a
winging it man, no pressure, a just in time fella,
you must just trust your guts, no sweat, don’t fret.
We’ll get there in the end if I don’t send
you round the bend before we wend our way
towards our final destination.
                                                            I need
a deadline to demand my desperate
attention, to draw together inspiration.
There’s nothing like a red line in the diary
to generate that sense of do or die and
finally draw together focus.
                                                                    However,
I must remember others work differently than I do
planning out the when and where and why to,
pinpointing places, stages, steps and times.
Maybe, perhaps I ought to be more pliant,
and for our sake give it a try too.

As we head into Advent, in my line of life it begins to get rather busy with deadlines hunting in packs. Sometimes I wish I was one of those more organised types, but I fear I tend towards working on one thing at a time and a lot of flying by the seat of my pants. Whilst I find this last minute chaos generally works for me, I’m aware that those who are of a more thinking ahead of time nature can find it difficult if not infuriating! Right now, I’m living on adrenaline.
This one’s an experiment in over the top, repeated an obvious rhyming. To be spoken aloud and fast.
(25.11.23)

© Ben Quant 2023
Original photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Poem 217 – Prayer

A conversation
not a trade in facts.
A getting to know
and becoming known.
A comfortable pause or
provocative silence.
A chance to let rip
and tell it how it is,
at least,
how you think it is.
A generous gift
not obligation.
A time for distraction,
to recall all
those other things
you need to do
and some you really don’t.
Frustrating.

When I talk to Dad
it’s sometimes serious,
often not.
We tell our news and
tread the regular ground.
A joke is shared
I may have heard before.
It doesn’t matter.
I always finish
thinking I
must do
this more.

I was challenged to write a poem on prayer by a good friend. Difficult. Prayer is hard to pin down, besides I suspect this person prays more than I do. Recent conversations gave a way in.
(21.11.23)

© Ben Quant 2023

Poem 208 – Including Judas

My table stretches,
extends so all
can gather round
to eat.

Pictures of the Last Supper always feature a large table – it would have to be to accomodate the twelves disciples as well as Jesus! It always fascinates me that Jesus welcomed them all to share such an intimate and pivotal meal, especially Judas, who he knew was about to betray him. What is this? Foolishness? Naivety? Or simply an act of inclusive grace?
(See also the end of this post by by Nadia Bolz-Weber)

(02.10.23)

© Ben Quant 2023
Image by Leonardo da Vinci – High resolution scan by http://www.haltadefinizione.com/ in collaboration with the Italian ministry of culture. Scan details, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=3032252

Poem 206 – Empty Nest Syndrome

A shelf of shoes, unmatched and overflowing
A sock left in the laundry all alone

A pair of glasses for computer working
A charger from a previous mobile phone

Some letters sent obliviously, now stacked
Awaiting reading like that dusty book

A pile of magazines stuffed in the rack
Remember your promise to one day take a look

Now fully fledged our chick has flown the nest
And found a home that she can call her own

I wonder when she’ll come and get the rest, ’cause
We’re longing for some empty nest syndrome!

Allegedly, our daughter’s left home. Looking around, I’m not yet totally convinced!
(20.09.23)

© Ben Quant 2023
Original photo by Robert Thiemann on Unsplash

Poem 200 – The Wedding Dance Floor

Last night I danced all night.
Today I have no voice
and blisters on my toes
to witness my exploits.
It may have been a case of
defiant dad dancing
but do I care? Do I?
No, not at all! For those
few hours I lost myself
within the moment.

Earlier this month I had the joy of attending the wedding of a couple I know through church. It was a wonderful day for a wonderful couple. The disco was great fun too – I only hope I didn’t put others off… I wrote this at the time and have finally dusted it off and made it presentable.
(30.08.23)

© Ben Quant 2023
Photo by Greyson Joralemon on Unsplash

Poem 198 – Silence

Sometimes, the most eloquent prayer is silence.
It says I cannot feel your pain because
I do not walk the path you tread, it’s yours.
In ignorance, I have no words to give;
those I possess will not suffice, meaning
speaking belittles your experience.
And so, like Job, I hold my hand across
my mouth to offer you the best I can.

As a church minister, I frequently find myself with people facing suffering. I’ve learnt that the best thing to say is often nothing at all. The best thing is to simply be there with them.
(17.08.23)

© Ben Quant 2023
Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

Poem 194 – The Importance of Space

We gathered round and peered.
The husband said, ‘It’s deep,’
I nodded in agreement.
‘It’s deep so I can fit on top.’

I backed away to give
him space for thought. A moment’s
silence, and then, amen,
the hole was filled with prayer.

Leaving, I noticed that
his arms were full of nothing,
as was his car, and home,
his sentences left…

Sometimes the nothing hurts,
but not always. Sometimes
it takes familiar shape,
its contours reassuring.

I haven’t posted a poem for a while, partly because I’ve been distracted with other things, and partly because I’ve been grappling with this one. It started off as a poem about the importance of giving others space to be, but ended up as something else. I worry it’s a little glib, I hope not, but I don’t think I can take it any further right now.
(16.07.23)

© Ben Quant 2023
Photo by Valentin Lacoste on Unsplash